The Imposed Identity Crisis on Asian Americans
Over the 50+ years that my family has lived in the U.S., our identity has shifted based on U.S. policy. Prior to the 1980 Census, our options for selection of race were White, Caucasian or Other. After the intense lobbying by the Association of Indians in America, Indian Americans secured minority status and a separate category for future U.S. census forms was created. A main premise for this change was that Asian Indians are dark-skinned and face similar racial discrimination as other non-white individuals.
This recognition solidified the “otherness” of our being: as people of color, we do not belong here. We are the “other,” who with our dark skin color serves to remind us and them that we are different. So, we are routinely asked, “Where are you from?”
We expect this question when people meet us for the first time. The curiosity shows in their face, that since we have a darker skin color, we are from someplace else. I have been asked this question my entire life that I have a repertoire of responses. In a split-second, I try to determine the intent of the questioner and if I want to engage with this person. Is it worth my time to embark on a longer discussion? Should I assume they are ignorant of their own racism by asking that question? Or should I just play along?
Most often, I reply nonchalantly, as if the question is no big deal: either 1) “I’m from Chicago” or 2) “Where do you think I’m from?” Both responses throw the person off. Chicago is where I’m from, where I grew up. I don’t remember living in Delhi at all. As they digest this unexpected answer, I may help them out, “Oh, do you mean where my parents are from?” When they nod, I reply “they’re from India”, confirming my dual identity as an Indian American. When my return question is posed, they are taken aback and either dutifully start guessing or repeat their question and in response, I repeat my question. After a brief hesitation and a long stare, most can identify my heritage immediately or within the first three tries.
The individuals asking these questions can be broken down into two groups: 1) plain curiosity which usually does not lead to any further dialogue and 2) those familiar with India and want to engage further. Once it’s been established that I’m from Chicago and originally from India, the interaction becomes more interesting. Unless the inquisitor has a direct connection to Chicago, they move on to my Indian background, which is what interests them. My experience is that behind the inquisitive nature of the question, there is already an assumption of my background and they are eager to share their connection with India.
With the first group, the conversation ends once my heritage is established since their curiosity is satisfied and they have no association with my response. With the second group, the conversation becomes fascinating. Some have traveled to India and want to share their experiences. Others enjoy listing their favorite Indian restaurants, foods, movies, music or some other aspect of the culture. These interactions are also enjoyable for me because the person is sharing their positive experiences with our culture and I often learn something new.
Individuals from the former USSR, with whom India had forged a close alliance during the Cold War, are very excited to share their knowledge of Indian movies. People living in Russia during that time know of Raj Kapoor, and can sing lines from his international, multicultural hit song… “Mera Joota Hai Japani…. Sar pe laal topi Rusi…”.
Because of these encounters, I have become more accepting of being asked the identity question. Recently, a handyman who had been at our home for several hours hesitated as he was leaving and very diplomatically asked where I was from. Since it was clear he was not expecting, “Chicago”, or a return question, I replied, “my background is Indian.” He was extremely thrilled that his belief was accurate and proceeded to share his interest in Bollywood movies, songs, as well as a thorough analysis of why John Abraham is his favorite actor!
About twenty years ago at an event, a white man approached me and asked a modified question, “Is your jewelry Indian?” I was surprised to be asked such a direct question because most men do not usually open a conversation asking about jewelry. I replied in the affirmative following up with, “How do you know about Indian jewelry?” Even more surprising was his reply, “when I attended high school in Kabul, I traveled throughout the region and visited India.” Thus, began our conversation. A year later we were married.
So this begs the question, “What is the polite manner of asking one where one is from or what their background is? What other ways can we engage in this conversation?”
As for me, I have a dual identity: I’m from Chicago and I have an Indian heritage.
